Google
 

19 February 2010

I got Junk Mail

Ever since I was old enough to have an address associated with my name I have been exposed to junk mail. I am not just talking about all the silly stuff they try to send you the minute you set up an e-mail account. I am sure you are all well aware of the myriad methods of spam and other loosely direct sent ads that overwhelm your in-box once your e-mail address is known. I am sure there are computer programs out there that randomly generate addresses to known server domains in attempts to find a 'live one' just so that you can receive the latest method of physical enhancement or reduction depending your gullibility.

I am rather referring to the spam e-mails ancestor, the original junk mail that travels by snail mail and arrives in the mail box located outside in a physical form that requires you to interact with it by direct physical means.

I actually like this form of advertisement. Really. It is the direct and physical nature of it that appeals to me, mainly because I can deal with it on my terms and on my time table. E-mail needs to be dealt with right now. Once opened it demands attention, mostly because if you decide to deal with it later it will sit there waiting and building up with all the other e-mail messages you have waiting for your attention. O sure you could file it into another folder, one marked 'to be read later' and let that one build up until one day you force yourself to look at them and notice that you were invited to a special party all expenses paid, for you and all your friends and close associates and all you need to do is RSVP by Friday only to find that the Friday the e-mail is referring to happened two and a half years ago.

Actually this is a good method for handling certain e-mail for your work address. It is amazing how many work assignments can get lost or company policy statements can go unread without affecting your routine daily life structure. I have found that if you quit producing a neglected and useless report and no one says anything about it for the next six months it probably won't ever be missed and your time will be better spent elsewhere. Of course if it is missed for what ever reason and it is still a neglected and useless report your time will still be better spent elsewhere. Such is the existence of a cubicle dweller, but that is another topic.

Our topic is good old fashion junk mail. Now there are some that say that you should open your mail as you receive it and deal with it immediately as a form of good time waste management. Well sometimes I am just not ready to deal with it thank you very much and hard physical mail makes that possible. If I want to wait until later to read it I can and the urgency I place on this hard mail depends on the pile I put it in and how high it stacks up without falling over or allowing me the ability to create a path around it on the floor.

Hard physical mail comes in self contained packaging other wise known as envelopes that give an indication generally of who sent it and what is in it. Here I have the ability to decide if this is something I really want to deal with right now or is it something I have to deal with right now or, or is it something I can put aside for later review.

But e-mail also comes in a form of envelope just like hard mail, I hear you say. It has an address of the sender and it even comes with a subject line to let you know what the topic of the message is. But this is where it breaks with hard mail or should I say hard mail is easier to discern. Hard mail comes with a return address that is either truthful or not and you know at a glance what you are getting. If it is from a friend they will have their address on it and you will recognize it, if it is a bill or advertisement from someone you know they will also have their address and sometimes a logo that you will recognize and know. If it is junk the return address will be none existent or a p.o. box number or other address without a name listed, or if a name is included it will be some made up funky name built to resemble someone else's name like "United States First Federal Integration Refinancing District Office". This tells you someone has something to hide and it is pretty evident right now.

Come to think of it, that is kind of what the spam mail tries to do also. The difference is that some do not list an e-mail address or some will use phony addresses. I have even received e-mail that supposedly came from myself. If they can send out spam using my own address what is to stop them from using the address of your friends. Besides we have all heard of how they send e-mail trying to pretend it is coming from your bank or credit card company in order to steal your account information. Deceiving people are deceitful no doubt about it.

Of course e-mail accounts prevent this or at least they try to prevent this with spam filters. Spam filters by the way only work a little for me. I have had more spam make its way into my in-box and more real letters make their way into my spam box than makes sense. I don't understand why it happens but it does. I think we rely on our computers too much by letting them make way more decisions for us than we should, especially seeing how often they get it wrong. Point is you can't trust them to do everything for you, you are going to have to do much of it on your own.

So our e-mail accounts have tried to develop ways to work like we use too, or at least how time management consultants tell us we are supposed to. They provided folders and sub folders to use to sort through and keep track of all our e-mail traffic. In order to sort through the e-mail you pretty much have to open it up and read it unless it is the same old drivel advertisement from emazon or am-bay telling you about the great yo-yo sale they have going this week and how they remembered that you once looked at a picture of a yo-yo so you must be an aficionado, and though you know it is junk you can't quite commit yourself to labeling all e-mail from them as junk just in case they do send you something important like a half price sale on that left-handed smoke shifter you have had your eye on, especially ones that come in your school team colors of purple and green.

So like all mail, you need to go through it and determine if there is any value to you in it and will you act on it now, later, or never. It is the 'never act on' mail that makes me glad for hard snail mail. If you get spam it is electronic. If you really get upset and want to reply to the so and so that sent you this piece of time wasting mind numbing crap the best you can do is hit the reply button and spend even more time hammering out a message to them that will fully explain in detail what you think of the piece of drivel this cretin was thoughtful enough to leave in your in-box. After much venting and fuming and fusing over just the right wording to use you hit send only to find that the address given is none functional. That's right, it is a dead address, phony or spoofed and your message goes nowhere, and all that energy that charged you up the first time around enough to want to make a reply just got recharged and still has no place to go.

Hard mail on the other hand almost always has some number or address associated with it because they are trying to get you to take action and spend money on them (especially since they spent real money on you not that cheap electronic money they use to send spam). But I have found that it is generally still a waste to get my knickers in a knot and try to make a direct reply and have found that it is much better to dispose of my frustration energy by shredding, folding, bending, and mutilating physically the item that caused that frustration in the first place. This is done directly through hands on contact. Very satisfying. Something you just can't do with an e-mail...unless you print it out, but why bother.

Later I will have to share some stories of my junk mail with you that I find amusing. I have tried to save a few from immediate shredding just because they are so over the top with stupidity. Never deal with anyone that expects you to be dumber than they are in order for the deal to work.

One more thing about hard mail that I really love. It is not a sleazy phone call from a telemarketer. If ever I have wanted to reach out and touch someone. Beyond telling them directly to put you on their "Do Not Call List" I tell them to send me what they have via snail mail. If they don't have my address I am not about to give it to them and if they have it most are not willing to send you anything by post anymore. It actually cost them something to do this and not everyone is willing to work for your business anymore. It's a shame really. It helps subsidize the US Post Office, and from what I hear they can use all the help they can get. If they do send you something you have real hard mail that might help you change your mind about them and their product or at the very least you will have something to shred.

Remember to recycle as appropriate. There is bound to be plenty of good fertilizer in there somewhere.

This is Ed Nef with a view from the Farr West.