I still can not believe how stupid people think I am. I hope that they do not think the same of you.
What causes me to say such a thing has to do with the lame wad advertisements that come in the mail wanting me to do something extremely foolish such as take out a loan with them. The latest one came today from an 'American General Financial Services' company that thinks I am dumb enough to fall for the spiel that I can end the Credit Card Hassle by locking in fixed monthly payments and APR with them. They are even so kind as to let you pick a monthly payment due date that works best for you.
Thankfully they no longer hide the worst of it though there is the ever present small print, it just isn't as small as it used to be. So in big bold letters they tell me that my payment will be $156.31 per month for a loan of $5,150 (a strange number to be sure)for 48 months at (now get this) 19.85% APR. Who in there right mind would even consider a deal like this? People very hard up that haven't learned any better that's who and that is why I hope you are never in a position to do anything but laugh at the joke and the company that sends these out.
Now if that wasn't bad enough, they have the wonderful asterisk that refers to the note of small print at the bottom, this one at least is big enough that even I can read it, which might have been a mistake because it just adds to the insanity, so here goes.
"*Not a guaranteed offer. All loans subject to our normal credit policies. Rates and terms advertised are for very well-qualified borrowers and require collateral. Rates will vary based on individual creditworthiness and loan size. Rates will be higher for unsecured loans. Reply by..."
Can you believe anybody besides the government would have the gall to make you such an offer? What kind of fool do you take me for? How did you get my name and if you bought it off a list I want a cut to cover the abuse.
This is not the first offer from them nor the first from companies like them but I seem to be in the zone for these kinds of offers lately. Another one that came recently was a very official looking tri-fold envelope where you rip off the edges just like an official government notice. It had a picture of the statue of liberty on it, the words 'Form 1008-S Payment Reduction Notification' in the upper left corner and a warning that there is a "$2,000.00 Fine or 5 Yrs. Imprisonment or both for any person who interferes with or obstructs delivery of this letter or otherwise violates - 18 United States Code 1702 et seq. Advertisement - Newsletter". Pretty scary stuff...so I immediately handed it to my wife to open.
I saw it coming a mile away. It was more crap, an offering to do a refinance with them compete with many goofy references to the economic stimulus act which I had trouble following because I tend to read things a little more carefully than the next guy. The small print did indicate that it was a legal advertisement (aren't they all) and that "Schroeter Law Group is not sponsored or affiliated with you current lender (no edit check here) and this advertisement is not authorized by your current lender and your loan information was not provided by your current lender." I guess not since the name they used was not my current lender, nor were any of the amounts listed.
By the way, they go to the county recorders office and buy this information from our local public officials thereby having access to your name and address if you have bought or sold or refinanced a house recently. Again, we should somehow be able to stop this at the source, or at the very least get a cut back for a referral fee.
The last one I will mention came from a Dorcy Law, whoever that is, and I only find that out by their slightly referred too web address at the end of the letter. The rest of the letter came with the same illusionary mentions of the Obama Administration's Homeowner Affordability and Stability Plan of 2009 but nothing much else to go on. I say illusionary because I don't recall in all the hoopla and media hype about the stimulus packages passed and/or talked about, that an actual name was placed on an actual program actually instituted by the government, let alone any details on how it would work or who it would benefit. Rightly or wrongly I probably just assumed that I wouldn't qualify to receive, I would only qualify to pay for it.
Any way, it came from the Loan Modification Division, something that surely sounds more like an office section than the name of a company but that is what they had listed in the address heading along with a Washington DC address. (Does anything good come out of Washington DC these days?) In fact, there were no other names given than mine and the name of the original lender from the court records from way back when, and the only way I found a possible real company name (or at least a tie to one) was the reference in the web address at the bottom of the sheet. The letter wasn't even signed (how hard is it to get a computer to sign its own letters, I mean really) but was closed with the words "Sincerely, Sr. Home Retention Specialist". I wonder if they felt bad about printing the 800 number to contact them based on their level of effort to remain as anonymous as possible.
I do get upset when I see these things come in the mail and almost get to the point of wanting to call them up and expressing myself to them (or at the very least play with their heads and gain a little amusement for the effort) but then I get over it and decide that it really isn't worth the effort. These people are hopeless...but I don't have to be. And neither do you. There are so many loser organizations out there currently vying for your attention that we just shouldn't waste any more time on them that we have to. Thankfully some are way, way more obvious than others. Just do me a favor and watch out. If no one falls for their nonsense they certainly won't last long.
This is Ed Nef with a view from the Farr West.
