The Either/Or Dilemma

dilemma

noun

1.    a situation in which a difficult choice has to be made between two or more alternatives, especially equally undesirable ones.

I am sure you have already guessed what this is going to be about.

The last post was actually started here but turned into it's own entry.  This is a follow on prelude if you will with reflections on our current state of political affairs.  Isn't it sad that  our nation has an either/or mentality.

I mentioned faulty logic in the decision making process in the last entry and it is a much larger topic than I gave it space for.  One of my greater pet peeves is the either/or presentation especially when it comes to communal decision making.  We are played by politicians all the time and we continue to put up with it and frankly I am getting sick of it.

It is used whenever they have already decided to implement a change that will be unacceptable to the general public and usually comes in the form of new taxes, new policy or new regulation that will limit your rights and freedoms and take money from your wallet.  It is offered in the form of either you take this choice we have made for you or you take this other choice that we know no one in their right mind would take because it is so much worse that the one we want you to pick which is the choice we have made for you.

Either we raise your taxes or children will go hungry, or police and fire departments will have layoffs, or potholes will grow, or garbage will pile up, or sewage will back up...etc., etc..

Either you live or you die, that is all, end of discussion.  Or is it.  Life is not just an either/or decision.  It is made up of many, many decision.  It nearly always comes with more than two options.  Look around you and tell me if there are more than two kinds of snowflakes.

I happen to know that there are three kinds of people in the world.  Them that know numbers and them that don't.

So now we are headed into an election where for many there are only two choices.  Gosh I feel sorry for you if you find yourself in that category.  I for one decided a long time ago that neither one of the traditional parties provided a viable candidate or platform that I was willing to support or endorse and this was before the conventions, so I went looking...looking for options.

I must not be the only one as some of the polls I have seen show that a third and a fourth candidate for president are drawing 10% and 6% interest and 3% for any others in place of the more attention grabbing first and second slots.  At least some people are smart enough to know that when a bad either/or choice is placed before them that you should choose neither.

If someone ask you "do you want pie or ice cream" you should answer "yes".  If some one ask you "do you want me to break your arm or break you leg?" you should say "neither thank you, I'd rather go to dinner and a movie with my sweetheart."

If neither choice will leave you in a desirable state (based on your criteria not theirs) then your first action should be to start looking for other options.  During this election there are many that are looking for other options though sadly they are looking for the same old solutions just with a different face.  That is how we got ourselves into this mess in the first place.

If you are afraid to cast your vote (speak your voice) for someone outside of the main two party system because you will just be throwing away your vote then haven't you in actuality done just that.   I thought that if ever there was a time for a third party candidate to rise up that this would be it.  So far the candidate alternatives have remained in the also ran category which is a shame because there is at least one of them that sounds much more intelligent and is running on a platform that far exceeds those of any I have heard so far, yet there are not enough voices willing to throw away their votes and provide at least the option of having his name on the ballot in all fifty states.

When all is said and done (and more will be said than will be done) I am sure that I will not have my choice be the one made by the majority but at least I know that I will have made my choice and I can live with knowing that.  So come on, throw away your vote, but at least do it in a way you can feel good about yourself for doing it.  And don't fall for the either/or trap.  We know better.

This is Ed Nef with a view from the Farrwest.

Choices, choices, choices

We have been blessed in the country far beyond what others in the world have and it is a wonderful thing.  One of the biggest blessings comes in the form of choices or options if you will.  Since before the days of 31 flavors of ice cream we have had options aplenty to choose from.

With all this variety comes comparisons.  Which one is better?  And, more importantly, which one is better for me?  Best of all, as the customer you get the freedom to choose for yourself.  How awesome is that?  Also, because of all these choices and the choices of everyone else, what we have to choose from just keeps getting better and better.  As long as we make good choices, the good things will continue to exist and the bad choices will just drop off with no one to support them.

Everyday you have the opportunity to choose, what to have for breakfast, where to go for lunch, should I have leftovers for dinner, what should I watch on T.V., or should I go to the movies, or better yet read a blog.  From the clothes you wear to the car you drive, from the decisions to take an elevator or take the stairs, and even looking at the caller id and deciding whether to answer or not we face a multitude of choices everyday.

Many of these choices are made without hesitation or much thought.  Sometimes the choice is made once and we did such a good job of making that choice that we do not need to make that choice again but stick with it for a lifetime.  Some choices need to be readdressed periodically as new information comes to light or circumstances have changed.  Some choices are made over and over again but are of little effort and little consequence.  Some choices take much deliberation and agonizing analysis while other can be made on a whim.

All Choices have consequences.

If you take responsibility for the choices you make then you can also take responsibility for the consequences that follow.

Now a couple of things to keep in mind.  There can be a point of decision overload, that is when there are too many decisions to be made all at once and/or there are too many items to choose from when there can be only one choice made.  If you are not aware of this problem, it can throw you into a state of indecision.  You can get stuck, you will stew and fret and increase your anxiety to a point of exhaustion and still not come out of it with a decision that will allow you to move forward, and believe me decisions are all about moving your life forward.

There have been studies done that show the average person can not handle more than such and such a number of choices before reaching this state of inability to decide.  They claim it would be better if we had less choice.  I call that hogwash.  I have been caught up in this myself and know for a fact that having less choice would have made it easier but not necessarily better.  If I am aware that this state of indecision is happening, then I can choose to change myself and how I handle the situation thus I return to choosing a solution rather than allowing it to become a problem.  So how to go about it;

1.  What is the problem and what is the desired outcome?  Define these first.  Have you asked enough questions to fully understand the situation and aren't rushing into making a snap decision.

2.  What are the alternatives?  Do not try to look at every possible alternative, some are bad from the get go and add nothing but distractions.  Do however brainstorm long enough that you don't overlook real possibilities.  This is where innovation comes from.  New does not come from choosing to do the same old thing.

3.  Choose the level of effort needed for the decision.  How big a decision is this really, and how bad are the consequences if I get it wrong?  Don't sweat the small stuff, it isn't worth it.  When deciding which flavor of ice cream to have, go ahead and just pick one, it won't be the last time you will have ice cream.  If you are deciding on which water softener to get you might want to take a little longer.

4.  If you are only making the decision about and for yourself go ahead and be self centered.  This is the right time to be all about you.  If you are considering others, then always look for Win-Win.  That means finding a solution that will met everyone's needs as much as possible without doing it at the lope-sided expense of one of the members.

5.  Beware of faulty logic.  It is okay to consult others if needed.  It can be useful to get a different perspective on the situation.  I love to talk with others and learn new ways of thinking about things and doing things, especially if it is a better way.  The problem is that sometimes we forget the advice often comes with the intro "Well if I were doing it, I would...".  Until the decision is made it is still your decision, and after it is made it is still your decision.  Make sure it is your decision.  (Keep this in mind also when you give advice and it isn't taken so that no bad feelings are kept when you have a "That's not the way I would have done it."  Just note it and let it go.)

6.  Compare the alternatives.  Look at pluses and minuses, pros and cons, cost vs. benefits.  Use any and all methods that seem to fit the decision being made.  Don't ignore gut feelings, and remember that prayer is always available.

7.  Decide.  Decision made, follow through, stick with it, adjust if needed as a last resort, reflect latter and learn from the choice.

Choices are a fact of life.  Don't give up your responsibility to make choices and if you do, don't turn over that responsibility to others lightly.  It is hard to get it back if you do and you might not like the choices made on your behalf.  Not everyone is looking out for you best interest the way that you would and should and do.

I am glad you chose to read this post.  This is Ed Nef with a view from the Farrwest.